9/30/24, [S] Malik: Wear the Scarf. Be the Boy Anachronism.

9:25 AM

Welcome back to my princess party. Sorry for not updating last week Friday, I decided not to go to school since I was exhausted and just take the day off to myself. What did I actually do that day?

Don't really remember to be honest. Or at least I don't when I actively try to.

But right now I'm in class feeling the start of the back pain coming, which is funny considering it's left me alone for the most part over the weekend. Maybe it's these shitty chairs, or the weight of my backpack, or the fact that I haven't been moving much throughout the weekend. Could be some weird amalgamation of all three of these possibilities. But I usually stay in my room and rest during the weekend, though I might occasionally get out of my room to just pace my living room for no reason and then immediately go back to my room.

But at the moment the only thing that's been troubling me is advocating for myself. I guess this school year is a year of big changes. Like me no longer being an extremely passive doormat. thats a big one. I guess I'm sort of sick of suffering in silence and talking about my back pain was the start of me deciding that I want to actually try and seek out help for things, no matter what the consequences might be. So yippee for me!

Speaking of chronic pain, I also recently took the time to actually try and understand spoon theory and god does it make a lot of sense for me. I mean in terms of energy and the like. Since just about every day I come home absolutely exhausted and need to replenish the energy I have left by taking a nap. School is seriously really exhausting. It pretty much takes all of the spoons out of me. Although I've been trying not to nap as much since it's a very bad habit. The downside of that though is that it leaves me tired throughout the rest of the day if I don't take that nap, it's hard to want to do much of anything. Or to put it in spoon terminology: I'm pretty low on spoons.

Currently we're at about a pain level 2 or 3, and I expect its probably going to get worse throughout the day. Usually my pain levels on average are at about a level of 4-6. Sometimes it might spike up to about an 8 if my back is feeling particularly special. (For reference, this is the scale I usually use/think of when I need to describe my pain in numbers)

Although I can feel when it's about to come on, sort of like aura with migraines but for pain. And at the moment (which is now about 10:00 AM) It's at a 3 bordering 4. Today is gonna be great, I just know it.

11:49 AM

Currently I'm in my art class, pain level is luckily at about a three right now which is great. Less than the four we were at about an hour or so ago. I still hated my choir class though. It'd be a miracle if i ever end up liking it. God gives his strongest soldiers the worst teachers and just expects us to survive.

All day though I've been listening to the Dresden Dolls. Because I love the Dresden Dolls. God does their music really speak to me weirdly enough, especially Girl Anachronism which is the inspiration behind the title of today's blog post. I usually try to come up with the titles for these things before I do any writing, and I happened to be listening to that song a lot so I figured "why not reference it?" Another contender for the spot of blog title would've been "Malik: Wear the Scarf. Be the Boy Anachronism." in reference to that one Rose command, but it's too long and doesn't really flow off the tongue well than just '[S] Malik: Be the Boy Anachronism.'

Now that I'm thinking about it. I'm probably wrong about that. I'm starting to really like wear the scarf. be the boy anachronism, so there's about a 50/50 chance I changed it while writing. Oops. So much for trying to stick to my title rule regarding blogging. 

Anyways. Time to do the thing I do the best.

Which is reading homestuck!

I actually didn't get the joke because I don't know what the hell 52 Pickup is and I just sort of assumed it was some sort of version of poker? Like Texas Hold Em' or something. But then I looked it up and realized oh its just a prank where you drop cards on the floor and make people pick them up.

Not gonna lie, that is a pretty gay and lame prank. I'd be less humored and more confused if anyone tried that with me. At least do something fun with the cards like playing poker!

Speaking of which: god do I love card games. Well only really specifically Uno and Poker, but whenever I play Poker with my cousins I'm about  85% sure we are playing it completely wrong. Still fun though! Uno however I fucking love. I play it just about everyday with my friends in last period and absolutely body every single one of them. I rarely lose a game of Uno, it is just so much fun to play. But it usually depends on the people you're playing with, I prefer people who are a bit more dramatic about it since it's more funny to play with them rather than people who are just deadpanned the whole time. Or just like "oh, I lost. Good game, you were pretty good." instead of complaining and accusing me of cheating or something. Super duper gay. Have some fun! Get needlessly defensive and angry over the game! (In a joking manner of course) Rage quit! Curse my entire bloodline and my future children! Make it fun and funny!!!

2:21 PM

I'm starting to wish I had an entire period just to rest and sleep and do nothing. Nap time was kind of underrated now that I think about it, should've appreciated it while I could.

Its so funny how I'm 15 and have the sleep schedule of my parents.

Overall rating for today: I don't remember.

9/26/24, Jay Sean will pay for his crimes against humanity.

 8:29 AM

Goot meowrning pawrty people. I've arrived to first period after a long trip on the bus. Surprisingly enough, my bus actually came pretty damn early for once! So early that I was able to indulge myself and take a whole 7 minute nap before I had to get off to walk to school! Isn't life truly such a wonder. But I was thinking about Chris Brown randomly while eating a delicious cinnamon bun and it reminded me of the fact that the absolute banger that is Look At Me Now exists. So naturally, I wanted to listen to it. But I accidentally clicked the skip button twice while listening to the track, and instead I had to listen to fucking Down by Jay Sean and Lil Wayne. Not that the song isn't good, it is, but god did that annoy the hell out of me. 

Now after listening to that I kind of have no idea what kind of music I wanna listen to. I was listening to goth music before the abrupt shift to Jay Sean, so maybe I could do with that again. But I also wanna listen to a bit of Rilo Kiley too. And I also wanna listen to a bit of Dresden Dolls. And I also wanna listen to some Tribe Called Quest. God. My life is so hard.

I decided to settle on goth music, and I feel pretty satisfied in this decision.

9:26 AM

Apparently we have a test coming up that I need to study for...but I also finally got the Unofficial Homestuck Collection to run on my computer.

I think I'll go with Homestuck. 

But that does mean I'll have to crunch and study for this test when I get home, which is funny because I very rarely study aside from the time I studied for the PSATs. No homestuck time though, unfortunately. Which SUCKS.

Life is so fucking great man I love being alive.

I did have an unfinished reread of Homestuck from a few months ago that I never completed, I think I left off on early Act 6 when I just forgot to complete it and got extremely distracted by everything else. So rather than continuing it, I'm just gonna start all over. I might occasionally live-blog my reread on here, though I'd prefer to do it in my private discord server with my friend group since. I don't know. Feels like it's more guaranteed that they'd actually read it and reply and stuff (because they're the goats. I love the Sugoi Sauce Squad.)

Although, I just wanted to point out how it's kind of funny how forgotten it is that John (and also Karkat) have an interest in programming. Even if they both suck ass at it. Oh, if only we lived in a world where all of his interests were remembered other than him just being the guy who likes crappy movies and pranking people. Yet alas, we don't live in a purrfect world.

Looking at his computer layout also wants to make me replicate it but. Y'know. Still personalized to me. 

Like look at this pixelated abomination. So boring and uninteresting, I don't even use half of the shit on my homescreen. I wish it was still possible to have it look like the Windows XP or Windows Vista. Because god it'd be the dream. It would be so awesome...it would be so cool...

10:35 AM

In lunch! Which means I have a whole 45 minute period to fuck around and do nothing substantial. A part of me wants to draw. Another part of me wants to continue reading homestuck. Both of these parts must be playing tug of war with my small intestines because making this decision is making my stomach hurt a little. You might ask me, Malik, Momo, Spidey, Spider, whatever you call me, why not just draw homestuck? Well if I were to draw it'd obviously be homestuck related since I don't ever draw anything else (despite the fact that I've wanted to do some 500 Days of Summer fanart for a while since it's like. My favorite movie at the moment.) but still. Has to be one or the other! \

11:52 AM

Currently in my art class and I wanna draw, but also my back is lowkey killing me. As I've said before; scoliosis & chronic back pain suck ass. I really wanna get a cane or one of those rolling backpacks that used to be the coolest shit ever in elementary school. My mom said she wants to get that kind of backpack for me as well but honest to god I think I just really want a cane. Or at least something to make walking less painful for me than it already is. Because surprisingly enough; being in pain almost all the time is not normal. More on that at 12. But for a guy who's main mode of transportation to and from school is mainly public transport, you can imagine how exhausted I get walking literally everywhere while also feeling like I have something pushing out of my upper back to be let out. Not exactly fun. 

11:02 PM

So. I completely forgot to update this after coming home from a very long day feeling super exhausted. Pretty much slept the entire day and ended up waking up at around 10 or 9 because I had a nightmare about the US sending a drone strike to Canada over a toddler setting a school on fire. Makes no sense but you know. What're you gonna do? Anyways, today was also pretty uneventful and boring. Not exactly anything particularly bad happening, just as mundane as usual. I think I'm going to rewatch 500 Days of Summer AND draw at the same time. How you like that Obama? How's THAT for multitasking? 

Overall Rating for Today: 6/10. My nap was very enjoyable.

9/25/24. Dance, Gavin! DANCE FOR THEM!!!!

9:03 AM

I'm currently in my English class, after days upon days of running late and/or not showing up because I came in late. Although it's probably a surprise to nobody that I was also late to this class as well. #lol.

I don't really have any strong negative feelings about this class, or negative feelings at all. It's pretty fine, a good class to start off the day with. Unfortunately I keep forgetting to do or make up work for this class. like. a lot. It's becoming a real problem. I really gotta lock in and get back on my work stuff because if I keep it up this early into the school year things will NOT be looking good for me. Especially for this class and for my art class.

At the moment I'm listening to Dance Gavin Dance, and I recognized a bit of P!ATD and Say Anything in this mix. shout out to daniel for putting me onto these artists. Well. Only putting me onto Say Anything and DGD. He doesn't get the credit for putting me onto Panic! At The Disco. I did that all by myself thank you very MUCH.

9:22 AM

We are now in history. There's been like an obscene amount of hall sweeps which makes me feel bad for any poor soul who committed the sin of going from upstairs to straight downstairs for a class, or anyone who got caught up in the bathroom. I guess they're really cracking down as of late. If they were doing this like last year I would've been so fucked. I practically had a skipping addiction. Especially during my biology class since GOD I really fucking hated that class. Mainly cause of my biology teacher who nobody could stand. I also find it funny that the semester I was skipping her class a lot I ended up having the only A I'd ever get in that class on my report card. 

Also, I was listening to World Tour by ATQC and I recognized the "We're on a world tour with Muhammad my man." which I recognized from being used in The Glory by Kanye. It's so funny how many references rappers (or maybe just ye) like to make to each to each other. Also just really cool in my opinion. It makes my brain do that corny ass "I get that reference" gif in my head.

Currently I'm thinking about the fact that I REALLY need to make that differing artists playlists. But listening to Otis & Last Call for the millionth time today...it's just too tempting...

Because I'm like five years old, listening to Otis really got me into Try A Little Tenderness by Otis Redding. y'know. the song they sampled. God it's so fucking good. It made me discover there's a Glee cover for it, which in turn made me realize there's a remix of that cover to the style of Otis. Which is kind of funny to me. But still. Gotta listen to more shit. I'll probably get to work on it next period, which is conveniently my lunch period! YAY!

10:23 AM

Speaking of which. guess where I'm at now. I did end up making that playlist bee tee dubz but I have to fill it up a bit more, it's only like 3 hours long right now. BOOOOOOOORING. At the moment I've got a lot of Consequence (which I guess is cheating since I already listen to quite a bit of Consequence), Common, ATQC, Nas (mainly just illmatic. which is one of the best rap albums ever made), Lupe Fiasco, and Jay-Z. Now it's like. 7 hours long so I think that's good enough for now.

There's a little voice in my head pestering me to add in some Childish Gambino. But I've already had my lengthy history with that guy. hell NO. If Mr. Glover has no haters consider me dead. I mainly just hate him for the sake of hating if I'm being so for real, and also cause he was like my favorite rapper in eighth grade. Which looking back on it nowadays is fucking insane. I swear I used to listen to like every song off of Camp daily, it was practically a daily ritual. Thank god I recovered. But I do have to admit that, in spite of my hating, some of the songs on that album are kind of bangers I GUESS. (Specifically Fire Fly, Heartbeat, Les, Letter Home and Hold You Down. He has a really nice singing voice what can I say.) but That Power is easily still my favorite. I really love that long monologue at the end of the song retelling the story of a girl he knew at Camp. It lives in the back of my head rent free and I occasionally listen to it just for that one monologue. I love it when artists do that in their songs. (Last Call is like one of my favorite Kanye songs ever for that reason.)

But yeah. hate that guy. 

She's already so beautiful...my baby who I would hold as if she were my firstborn...despite technically being my. like. 286th born. I really gotta delete some of my playlists since I rarely listen to most of them but I unfortunately also have a sentimental attachment to all of them and have to keep them like I'm some kind of hoarder. If you make me delete any of my playlists I'll cry. 

2:28 PM

I kind of had nothing else to talk about for the rest of the day. So. Yeah. And I still sort of don't I guess. I mean other than the fact that my back's been hurting like a bitch all day. Seriously, I hate scoliosis. But I think I'll wrap it up here.

Overall Rating For Today: 5.5/10. Not too bad, nothing special about it either.

When in doubt A Tribe Called Quest WILL save you.

So after getting off school and going down to Wendy's, I decided to take a stab at listening to some ATCQ (i'm just gonna shorthand it to that from now on) and god. Best decision of my life. I've always wanted to expand my taste hip-hop wise since I am still basically a little baby who shits in his diaper in terms of it. (Also wanna listen to more Jay-Z, Mos Def, Mobb Deep, Common, and maybe DMX if I'm feeling special. Also Lupe Fiasco. I've only listened to like 4 of his songs and I've been wanting to finish listening to all of Lupe Fiasco's The Cool for like the longest time EVER. I love Kick, Push and Paris, Tokyo, Superstar, and Gold Watch.) 

But I've also wanting to expand my music taste in general? In terms of listening to different artists anyways. Rilo Kiley & The Dresden Dolls have like. A chokehold on my mind at the moment. But especially the Dresden Dolls and music by Amanda Palmer in general. Even if it's just the basics of her music.

Anyways. getting off topic. ATCQ is sooooo good!!!!! I don't think there's a single song off their debut album that I didn't like. HOWEVER. DOT DOT DOT. My absolute favorites of theirs at the moment have to be Can I Kick It? (basic, i know.) Youthful Expression, Electric Relaxation, Luck of Lucien, Mr. Muhammad, After Hours, Push It Along, and Bonita Applebum. I need to listen to more or I will DIEEEE. God like nothing I've heard has been misses. All bangers. I love it.

I really gotta make a playlist of artists who I want to listen to more. It'd be a lot more of a save of time than using Musi all the time when I wanna stream a few artists (not to mention Spotify's """""""shuffle""""""" feature sucks ass and just plays the same shit I've already heard over and over again.)

In conclusion? I need to get a job so I can afford Apple Music. And also stream Electric Relaxation.

9/24/24. Hey, double numbers!

I guess I need to start posting on this thing otherwise. yk. whats the point of having a blog. (on that note thanks roxy for having a purretty purretty blog it inspired me to steal the idea and make one myself.) But yeah, it's the 24th of September at about 9:13 AM or so and I'm in school. I think I'll keep writing throughout the school day and update when I deem necessary.

So far my morning has been okay, could be better but nothing too special. I had a sausage patty for breakfast and it was pretty filling I guess?

Actually. Idea; I could use this thing to remind me to do my homework since I have an awful habit of forgetting to do anything that isn't homestuck related. Seriously. My memory is horrible. Last year or so I was in line to get some lunch and I'd just completely forgotten my lunch pin after using it for a good year and a half. Like I went in the line, forgot it, had to get the pin number again, and then had to reteach myself to remember the pin over the next few weeks. My brain is really weird. But the point is it could be helpful in the event that I need a reminder of anything to do, since other reminders kind of suck and don't really work for me.

9:35 AM

My headphones r sooooooo busted. Jesus. I really gotta get new ones since they're basically hanging on by a damn thread. Usually my mentality about material possessions like these are "if it ain't broke don't fix it!" but I quite literally cannot "if it ain't broke don't fix it!" my way out of these headphones. Rest in peace to my Sony headphones, or the baephones as I dub them. It was a good 1 or 2 years but it's time to let them go.

Ideally I'd just get Sony brand headphones again, even if they're stupid expensive. (Seriously. $100 for headphones is fucking wild.) but I could also get earbuds I guess...?

Actually, no. Super gay idea actually.

Earbuds fucking suck dude I don't know how people survive with them in their ear holes. It gets majorly uncomfortable after like 40 minutes!!! Which is why headphones obviously solo. Not even a competition. If I wanted something uncomfortably lodged in my ear I'd put a cotton swab in it.

Actually semi-related but right now I'm listening to one of my playlists meant for the express purpose of making myself feel better, and Jesus Christ the transition from The New Workout Plan to Juliet by Cavetown gave me horrific whiplash. 

I get that they both make me feel better but extremely different moods we're setting here guys! This playlist needs the genre equivalent of segregation.

10:18 AM

I usually spend my lunch periods in the library and that is what I'm doing right now. Typing away at my blog like the little tumblrina I am at heart. I also realized god damn does this playlist have a lot of songs from Graduation. Too many. The first two albums in the College Dropout trilogy r easily better than Graduation. (Late Registration being his [Kanye West's] best album imho.) Which isn't to say that Graduation is a bad album by any means, hell no!!! It's just people always say shit like "he made graduation..." when c'mon if you're going to try and do your "separate the art from the artist" ye cope at least do an album like Late Registration or The College Dropout or 808s or MBDTF. Actually not 808s, I think Graduation is better than that album.

But also funny how nobody ever says "he made Vultures..." or "he made Vultures 2..." and you wanna know why? Because those albums r hot ASS. Actual auditory aids. It always perplexes me how CARNIVAL was able to get as popular as it did on apps like TikTok when the song fucking sucks!! It is quite literally the bane of my existence and if I have to hear even a snippet of it I'd kill myself. I could at least understand how people could defend an album like Donda since it has (at least in my opinion) some pretty good tracks on it (I really like Believe What I Say) but I just could never get anyone who likes his last two albums with Ty Dolla Sign or whatever his name is. That's a lie, I could. Usually it's just fourteen year olds who treat Kanye like he's the second coming of Christ because he makes really good music and defend every little thing the guy does as if he's above critique. Spoiler: he's not. Like guys I like Kanye too but doing tricks on his weiner & defending hot garbage (in terms of like. Everything he's said and done and the music he's recently put out) just in the name of Kanye is kind of crazy. Maybe if you guys had some standards and not eating up every little thing the guy does we wouldn't keep getting this slop!!!

Also Mr. Pessimistic by Infinity Song is playing right now. Ugh god do I love Infinity Song. Their music usually makes me feel nice and cozy and good about things. Corny phrasing. I know. but this is my blog and I'll say whatever I so please thank you very MUCH. But this song is just really nice to me and my meaty meat brain. Not to mention just sort of really relatable. Have you ever been around a person who is just needlessly negative all the time and thinks every little thing they or other people do is embarrassing? It's really fucking annoying. Also gives me lyricstuck ideas in my head too. (How can I make this about homestuck...) maybe with the Strilondes? I don't know, I'm not an animator. Not yet at least. But listening to music in general gives me so many lyricstuck ideas I'll never be able to execute because I'm unfortunately an artist who doesn't draw.

Speaking of drawing. i can purrawbably take the time to include some artwork since I was thinking of having tiny doodles on my blog posts just to keep things interesting. And because I like drawing. Duh. 

Some doodles & drawings from a werewolf rose magma I did with Jax (hi Jax!)

How sick are these?? Well let me tell you, they're super sick. I would write some more but I gotta leave the library, so be back in a bit.

11:54 AM

I was just coming from my choir class, and I'm now in art. Obviously I couldn't type while I was singing and focused on the music. Don't be silly. But that class was such a bore and I seriously cannot stand it as someone who usually loves chorus.

My main gripe with the class is pretty much just my new, insufferable teacher. She is so, SO annoying. Another thing I hate about the class is the music we're given. Last year the music we were given in my opinion was fun, upbeat, great to sing. I also just have a bias towards singing gospel so I enjoyed the little gospel music we got to do. But the music we have now is just such a snoozefest. Maybe it's just my brain thinking up bad ideas but I really wanna drop that class. Really the only thing keeping me in there are my fellow classmates. One of the guys in there said he liked my Wolverine t-shirt which was pretty sweet, super sweet even. But yeah, my choir classmates rule, its just that godawful teacher.

In art class right now we've got an assignment while my teacher is out for the rest of the week that involves remaking book covers. I wanna do Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita, since some of the covers are kind of godawful given the material of the book. But others are super good, I love looking through the many varieties of Lolita covers in my spare time just to see the many interpretations different artists have of what a Lolita book cover *should* look like.

These are my favorite Lolita book covers. I usually prefer the ones without Dolores being on them (aside from middle one on the bottom row.) (and also this other cover I saw of Dolores in the grass while Humbert is in view on the left. I won't post it here since I don't want to, but it's a pretty good cover. The colors are just lovely, they work together amazingly. It also just makes me uncomfortable, which I guess is the point so bravo!) with a few exceptions, but these ones really get me. Top middle I really like cause of how it takes the lollipop usually associated with Lolita, pretty obvious iconography for ruining innocence. That one and the bottom right really take the cake for me in terms of Lolita covers. So it'll be quite the challenge to try and get it right if I'm gonna give it a shot.

2:22 PM

Currently in eighth after the dumpster fire that was last period (seventh, for clarification.) I had a presentation that I felt unprepared for, and as such, didn't do great on. That kind of just lowered my spirits by a significant amount, and I just can't wait to get out of school. I'm usually very tired, but right now I feel especially tired. 

On the bright side, I was planning on going to Wendy's afterschool. So if all goes according to plan there today should still be somewhat salvageable. I like trying to make the best out of shitty situations. But I don't think I'll have anything more to say after I get out of school, so I'll end things off here.

Overall Rating for Today: 4/10. Could've been better.

is this thing on

 this is just a test. dont mind me.